bluetears07: (PreBD)
bluetears07 ([personal profile] bluetears07) wrote2004-12-30 03:24 am
Entry tags:

Dude...:)

Disclaimer: Ever so sorry boys…the stuff in here never happened.
Series: Preordained
Paring: Sean A./Elijah
Summary: AU: Some things are just meant to happen while others are simply ripples off of one small mistake that change us forever. (Read AU Description, and also AN; behind cut)
AU Description: Same as before. (Refer to the “Prologue’s” AN for information mentioned previously.)
Rating: R (over-all) Chapter Twenty-Two: PG-13 (Language)
AN: Long time coming…I’m sorry…*hides*
Guide:Thoughts’
Cut Passage from Sean’s Book
+++++++++++++++
Preordained

Chapter Twenty-Two: Take Offs and Landings

Elijah had been locked up in his bedroom, completely alone, for nearly an hour since Sean had arrived at his apartment to drive him to the airport. A light flush had been sprinkled over Elijah’s pale cheeks when he had answered the door; as well, his eyes looked slightly puffy and ringed lightly pink to match the color of his cheeks. The gleaming black frames of his glasses were back as well, pressed high up on the straight bridge of Elijah’s nose as if nervously readjusted several times over. Sean had tried to reach out and pull the frames away from his lover’s face to see his all-telling clear blue eyes better, but Elijah had pulled away, skittish. He had murmured something about not being able to keep his contacts in for long. Also, as soon as he had answered the door, the young man had clamed that he was still feverously packing; ‘Last minute of course. Thank God I came early,’ Sean had thought, for his long flight ahead of Elijah was only five minutes shy of being twelve hours, not to mention the almost three hour layover in Amsterdam.

Every five minutes Sean would look over at the locked door, off-white paint peeling around the brass door knob, and press his lips together. Since day one he had never kept himself hidden away from Sean like this before, not once. The light lines of worry were beginning to crease deeper into the corners of his eyes and the tanned skin between his eyebrows. Surprisingly enough, there had been little noise from the bedroom after he had arrived, save the occasional squeak of mattress springs as Elijah tossed more clothing and other things onto his bed in preparation for packing. However, as Sean had expected, the languid slither of scented cigarette smoke from the crack between door and hardwood floor had still yet to cease.

Waiting anxiously in the dim living room of Elijah’s apartment, he shifted on the worn and nearly threadbare fabric stretched taut over the sad excuses Elijah had for sofa cushions. Under the fabric coverings, Sean could see yellowed cushion foam that wasn’t particularly comfortable to sit on for long periods of time (like he had been). The old (no doubt rusted nearly through) springs creaked as he propped his foot up on the coffee table, which was covered with cracked CD jewel cases that were part of his lover’s growing collection of junk associated with music. He began to nervously bounce his knee up and down in time to a beat he only heard, one with a restless, fast tempo. As his knee bounced he started looking anxiously around the small apartment, his parental self noting all the dirty clothes strewn about the place.

It would be a long time before he’d see the familiar place again.

Unconsciously, he began to rub nervously at the smoother than normal skin at the base of his ring-finger. Pausing his ministrations for a moment, he looked down at his left hand, ring-less and oddly bare. The heavy gold of Christine’s wedding band lay hidden within the cloth depths of his pants pocket. He looked back at the shut door, pushing all thoughts of marriage and divorce out of his head, leaving only room for Elijah. However, his mind bent on mixing one thought with the other, he began to think about the silver ring that was at this moment-or so he hoped-wound about Elijah’s finger. It would be Sean’s only physical representative; at least the only one that he hoped would move with Elijah wherever he went during his stay in Prague.

Maybe I should get a matching one for myself…’ Sean thought at length with a half smile curving up the corners of his lips. He knew that he would need something physical to hold onto that would remind him of Elijah. It would be especially pivotal during the thickest part of the divorce proceedings that were quickly approaching, though it seemed now that he and Chris had finally come to a certain accord and understanding. ‘Or maybe I could just steal his pillow now…’ A small laugh at the thought died premature in his throat as he heard a loud crash, followed immediately by an equally loud curse from Elijah’s lips, muffled slightly by the divider between them.

In the blink of an eye, Sean moved across the apartment, up from the stiff-cushioned couch to press his cheek against the bedroom door, listening intently for any sound from inside. A low murmur and a whimper were heard through the wood, but he couldn't decipher what it was that Elijah had said. Slowly, melancholy etching his every movement, he closed his eyes as his breath came in short puffs, caressing the peeling paint. One hand was loosely wrapped around the knob, waiting patiently to see if Elijah would call for him. The other hand was pushed tight against door, wishing with every fiber of his being to penetrate through the wood and touch Elijah.

“Lij, everything okay in there?” He finally called guardedly through the door. The obvious worry threaded through his voice was intensified tenfold by his nerves and the underlying fear of some strange form of rejection by being denied access to Elijah’s bedroom in order to help the younger man out in any way he could. His wrist, the one of the hand wrapped around the doorknob, twitched with reflexive anticipation as he waited silently to hear the weak voice reply.

When he got no answer, Sean decided to test the lock on the door, twisting the doorknob and pushing only to find that it hadn’t been locked in the first place. As soon as the door gave way under his fingers, Sean’s eyes locked onto the dark figure. The younger man sat at the foot of his bed, curled in upon himself with both arms wrapped tightly across his chest and knees pulled up to his chin. His gaze had been fixed upon a spot near the doorway where Sean was standing.

A limp cigarette hung from between his dry lips, the smoke curling around his face and clinging to the tips of his hair. The thin current of smoke snaked out from Elijah’s lips as he pulled the cigarette away from his mouth to hold it delicately between his trembling fingers. With a last flick of his wrist he bent down and snubbed out he cigarette into the glass ashtray that lay on the floor.

“My mother gave it to me…” Elijah whispered, his voice sounding as rough from neglect as if he had just woken up. Confused by the words, Sean took a tentative step inside the bedroom but stopped short of where Elijah sat; now staring up fixedly at him, when the tell-tale crunch of broken glass reached his ears from underfoot. “For good luck…” A coarse, mocking laugh escaped Elijah’s lips, quickly turning into a violent cough as he choked on a large plume of smoke. Glancing down, moving his foot aside, he found the debris of what must have made the crash; a dark blue glass ornament of some kind that had been resting, until that moment, dormant upon Elijah’s dresser. Next to the ornate wooden cabinet he saw one packed luggage bag lying on its side on the floor with one spinning wheel still caught on the right leg.

When Sean moved away from the shards of glass sprinkled across the floor next to the doorway, he found Elijah’s beguiling, glassy blue eyes staring up at him with such sorrow and an overwhelming sense of one who is helplessly lost amongst foreign territory. Not even the thin shield created by his dark framed glasses and clove-scented smokescreen could keep Sean from seeing the much more predominant rings of flushed skin around the younger man’s eyes.

Lips moving soundlessly, Sean tried to think of words he could use to comfort, but none came. His breath caught in his throat as he looked lower on the younger man’s face and saw the tracks of tear-stains marring the flawless, pale skin stretched over Elijah’s sculpted cheekbones. However, the thing that stilled his heart was seeing Elijah’s open and outstretched arms, undulating tapered fingers, curling and uncurling, silently beckoning and pleading with his eyes for Sean to hold him and protect him from whatever it was that haunted him so. The young man’s guard was completely down.

“Sean…” Unused and on the brink of faltering completely, his voice cracked as he whispered his lover’s name against the fabric of Sean’s shirt, wrapping his arms tightly around the older man’s waist. Strong arms Elijah had nearly forgotten how wonderful could feel wreathed his thin shoulders and pressed him tight against the sweet, warm body standing before him; trying to make them each whole one last time. He wanted so desperately to let go of everything, surrender completely to Sean; let him take it all away…“I’ve never felt this before…” His naïve confession was muffled by the thick material of Sean’s shirt, but he heard it clearly nevertheless. “It’s like I’m being torn in half…” Sean could feel another tear fall, splashing down Elijah’s curved cheek before cascading down and wetting the front of his shirt.

A familiar warmth gently began to caress the soft strands of dark hair curled about the nape of Elijah’s neck. Rising from the depths of his chest, Elijah felt a wordless moan roll in the back of his neck as he bowed his head forward, closer still against his writer. The methodic sensation of Sean’s fingers rubbing lazy circles into the yielding skin at the base of his neck began to lull him into a state of relaxation.

“Shhhh,” Sean crooned. “It’s okay, Lij…It’ll all be okay…” He whispered, bending down to press a gentle kiss to the crown of Elijah’s head, lips gently brushing against the scented hair before he turned his cheek to press against the dark strands. It was silent, save for the labored breathing of Elijah as his fingers fumbled against the soft material of Sean’s clothing. He felt a rush of moist air filter through the threads of his shirt as the younger man sighed deeply against his chest, pressing tight against the radiating warmth. The arms securely wound about his waist, undulating fingers digging into the fabric and flesh and trying desperately to grasp onto something solid, sent shivers up his spine.

The trembling, anxious energy was slowly leaving Elijah’s body as Sean’s fingers moved around from the actor’s nape to play across the flesh of his fragile collarbones. The skin there was laid bare beneath his hands thanks to the wide collar of Elijah’s crisp, white undershirt. Pulling away from the lithe body, nimble hands slipping to clutch his still thinner than usual hipbones, Sean’s eyes flicked to check the clock; ‘We still have plenty of time.’ As Sean moved one hand up the pale throat, he kneeled before the foot of Elijah’s bed. The younger man’s hands fell away from Sean’s hip as he moved. Unsure what to do, whether to touch Sean or not, he simply folded his hands loosely in his lap and left them there. Curling his fingers beneath Elijah’s freshly shaven chin he turned the beautiful face to look him in the eye.

“Trust me,” Sean implored, his eyes going the deep mossy color that made Elijah’s stomach churn sweetly with searing heat of amour. The pad of his thumb traced over the soft flesh of the younger man’s lower lip, running back and forth against the soft pink skin as his lips parted silently. His hand slowly slipped up to splay gently against the side of Elijah’s face, fingertips hooking around the sharp curve of the younger man’s jaw line. Blue was slowly veiled by pale skin as Elijah’s eyes fell shut.

“I do…with everything…” Elijah crooned in reply, blindly turning his face into the palm of Sean’s hand and pressing a chaste kiss against the warm flesh. The soft curve of his brows arched down together in sorrow as he opened his eyes, blinking several times to control the unshed tears that had welled up. “You know that, Sean.” Bringing his own hand away from his lap, he placed it gently against Sean’s. With the slightest movement, Elijah leaned forward and pressed his lips against Sean’s. The soft tip of Elijah’s straight nose brushed over Sean’s cheek as he kissed him softly, pouring every drop of anxious energy he had left within him into the caress. It was simple and sweet, no matter how much Elijah tasted of the one-too-many cigarettes he had been chain-smoking.

Suddenly, as soon as the younger man pulled away, the writer’s eyes lit up with an idea, the gleaming hope of comforting his lover shining through the colored irises. Standing quickly, holding now both of Elijah’s hands in his, Sean began smiling more brightly than Elijah had seen him in a long time, “Here, Lij,” before lying down on the bed. Turning onto his back, Sean laid his head on the younger man’s pillow with one arm flung out to the side, beckoning for Elijah to follow suit.

“Come on…” It was a plea that Elijah happily complied with, shifting his hips and rolling over to lay down on his side next to Sean. The soft cotton sheets shifted beneath him as he snuggled closer to Sean’s side. Once his arm was curled around Elijah’s shoulders again, the young actor used the writer’s chest as his pillow. Both his pale hands where tangled together and sandwiched between his chest and Sean’s side. The tips of the older man’s fingers slowly began to trace the delicate flesh of Elijah’s ear, sending the young actor deeper into a world of pure serenity.

“Been awhile…” Elijah whispered forlornly, tipping his head back to look up at Sean. The writer tucked his other arm behind his head and nodded silently; glancing down at the young man’s upturned face. It had been several weeks since they both had been lying together in Elijah’s bed, let alone any bed together for that matter. In fact, it was the night they confessed to one another that had been their last. After a short pause, Sean heard a muffled sniff from Elijah just before the younger man turned his face to press against Sean’s chest. He could feel small, wet splotches of saline forming on his shirt front as Elijah murmured, “It’ll be even longer wh-”.

“Don’t, Elijah. Don’t think about it,” Sean instructed with an intensity and passion that Elijah rarely heard from him anymore. He sat up abruptly, cutting Elijah off with the swift movement. Jarred, Elijah’s eyes opened wide, glasses askew on the bridge of his nose gazing up at Sean’s face from where his head lay now in the older man’s lap. Slowly he sat up along side him, pushing his untangled hands against Sean’s closest thigh, to be level with his writer.

“Don’t think about Prague, don’t think about the role, don’t think about the divorce, don’t think about anything…” He begged, his eyes pleading along with his words. The swirling hazel of his eyes was drawing the younger man it little by little as he slowly gave himself over to what Sean was asking of him. Gently, his warm hand covered Elijah’s as it rested on the thick jean fabric of Sean’s pants. His fingers curled around the side of the actor’s palm as he pulled the limp hand from his thigh. After one short squeeze of reassurance, Sean smiled earnestly, seeing the wonder filling Elijah’s bluer than blue eyes. “Just focus on this,” he pressed Elijah’s hand against his chest, off center to the left.

“S-Sean.” Elijah choked out before burying his face in the juncture of Sean’s neck and shoulder. Through the very tips of his finger he felt his own pulse throbbing slightly faster than Sean’s calm heartbeat. However, as soon as he began to breath in the familiar scent of Sean’s cologne, he felt is slow to match the writer’s pace. He felt the gentle press of Sean’s lips against his temple as the older man turned his head.

For a long time they simply sat together quietly, soaking in every last detail that they could. Sean looked over at the clock and gently nudged Elijah, whispering, “Lij, we’ve gotta go.”

+++++++++++++++

During the car ride, Elijah’s hand had somehow found it's way to resting upon Sean’s thigh and had been content to stay there for the duration. In addition, it seemed like Elijah was worn out from expending so much energy on worry that his head began to nod until Sean told him it was alright to go to sleep. Smiling, Elijah used Sean’s shoulder as a pillow and quickly dropped off, surrounded by the scent of pure Sean. Every so often Sean would look down at Elijah’s sleeping face and a burning bubble of self-deprecation would expand with in the pit of his stomach; he had caused so much pain to this angel that only wished to please him and love him wholly. It was only after Elijah had woken up when they were pulling through the manually run ticket dispenser, stamped with the time of their arrival so that Sean could pay for the twenty minutes total he would be parking, that the younger man backed off with his intimate physical contact.

Beneath the concrete parking lot a pseudo golden light outlined everything in an almost ethereal glow. The whole lot seemed to be radiating dull, toned-down sunlight, glaring off both dusty and over-polished hoods of parked cars. Sean pulled into the closest spot to the elevator and parked the car, with a flick of his wrist killing the engine and pulling the key from the ignition.

This is it.’ Elijah thought, chewing his lower lip nervously, staring blankly out of the windshield of Sean’s car at the bland, poured concrete wall of the parking garage. ‘I leave this car and there’s no turning back…’ The young man tore his gaze away from the wall to glance at his writer sitting in the driver’s seat. Elijah saw that Sean wasn’t really looking at anything in particular, just staring at the worn leather beneath his hand on the very bottom of the steering wheel. ‘No way back into your arms, Sean, until after mid-August…’ That single thought tore away at his heart as he watched Sean pick idly at a loose piece of leather that was peeling off the wheel.

“Sean…” Elijah tested quietly, reaching out with one hand to touch Sean’s slumped shoulder. The older man didn’t show any sign that he had heard his lover. Suddenly though, before he even had a chance to touch Sean, he saw the older man’s back straighten up, as if a currant of electricity had shocked his spine, just before he turned his head. He looked at Elijah with the wildest emotion he’d ever seen in Sean rimming his eyes with a murky tint. It was a strange mixture-halfway between unadulterated love and sudden realization. However, his every action was also threaded through with the ever-increasing sense of anxious dread that they both were feeling tenfold now that they were that much closer to loosing one another’s physical presence.

“Lij, there’s something that I need to tell you before we get out of the car.” His voice was full of suppressed excitement that sent a coursing crash of exhilaration throughout Elijah's entire body. Elijah could read him as easily as a book. From the slight up curve at the corners of his lips, body posture and just the fact Elijah knew just about every infinitesimal detail about Sean’s mannerisms, he could tell that whatever news the writer had neglected to tell him beforehand was crucial, but first and foremost, it was good news; a very welcome change. “I can’t tell you when we’re in the airport ‘cause I’m not sure how you’ll react…” That sent Elijah reeling back; surely he hadn’t been wrong when he read Sean’s expression, he couldn’t have been.

He could almost see the intense energy building up inside Sean as he tried to find the right words to convey his message. Twisting his hips, he angled his body towards Elijah and took the younger man’s hands in his own, massaging small circles into the backs of his hands with his thumbs. An irrepressible grin was pulling at Sean’s lips as he looked at his actor and laughed a bit nervously. Elijah smiled back. For the life of him, Sean could not figure out why this was taking so much nerve to say. ‘A brand new beginning and an end in one breath,’ Sean thought as he took a deep breath and finally spoke.

“You see, last week, when Chris found out that you wanted me to accompany you to the airport, she told me something she had come to realize.” Elijah felt his heart contract and his stomach turn; ‘Oh please let this be good news…why else would he be smiling?’ Unable to look at Sean, jaded one to many times and fearing the worst despite what all the signs were screaming, Elijah looked down at their entwined hands, fingers interlaced with contrasting skin tones. He felt like a big ball of nervous energy, just waiting for the final catalyst to set him off; whether for the better or worse. “She said that once everything is said and done she wants her and me to be friends…” He trailed off, giving Elijah’s hands a short squeeze and dipping his head down to look into wide blue eyes. “So, then she told me that once you get back from Prague and the divorce is final, which I’m sure it will be before then, now that we’ve reached a certain amicable accord,” Sean paused to wink, a smile spreading wide across his lips. “She won’t do anything to keep us apart any longer.”

For a long pause Elijah simply stared at Sean with disbelief etched deep into his features. After everything Sean’s wife had said to him, done to him, she finally was being rational; it wasn’t adding up in his head. He could understand why she wished to still be his friend after the divorce-they had been married for over ten years, but it seemed too amazing to be the truth. Making sure he had heard Sean correctly Elijah said, his voice wavering between the syllables, “Really?” A small smile at Elijah’s perplexed expression turning up the corners of his lips; the writer finally nodded his head.

Before Sean knew what had hit him, a short yelp, of what he could only guess to have been ‘Sean’, escaped Elijah’s lips. Next thing, bouncing the frame of the car with the sudden movement, the younger man had thrown himself across the divider between driver and passenger, his arms wrapping tightly around Sean’s throat. He began pressing frantic little kisses against any patch of skin his lips came in contact with, murmuring Sean’s name over and over with every kiss, before he finally settled on giving Sean one proper kiss. Finally adjusting to the intensity of Elijah’s reaction, Sean slowly wreathed his arms around the younger man’s back as Elijah kissed his lips, gently prying them open with the tip of his tongue.

“Well, good thing I told you here and not in the airport…” Sean breathed against Elijah’s lips as soon as the younger man finally pulled far enough away from Sean so the older man could breathe his own air once more. Eyes still filled to the brim with irrepressible passion, Elijah placed his hand against Sean’s cheek. The pad of his thumb slowly stroked over the tanned skin of Sean’s cheekbone as the younger man smiled at him, still leaning against the armrest that split the two seats. A delicate flush was spreading across the flesh beneath Elijah’s fingers as Sean blushed, seeing the intoxicating look in his lover’s beguiling eyes.

“Sean, my Sean…” His voice faded as he trailed off, leaving the silence so he could admire the way the last two words sounded together on his tongue, rolling off with a remarkable unthought-of ease. However, the words, no matter how much Elijah wished them to, did not ring true in his mind. Sean was still legally bound to Christine and could never be to Elijah. But at the moment he could have cared less; Sean simply belonged to him, as he did to Sean. With a wistful smile, Elijah slowly leaned closer still to Sean’s face. The sweet warmth of Elijah’s hand pressed against his face began to cloud his mind as he looked into impossibly blue eyes. “I love you, my Sean.” He kissed him gently, pouring all of himself that he regarded as Sean’s into the single caress.

+++++++++++++++

Bags already checked and shipped off to be loaded onto the plane, Elijah was left with only his faded blue messenger bag slung around his shoulder, gently bouncing it against his left hip as he walked silently next to Sean. He hadn’t said much after kissing Sean in the car, but the writer could tell his lover was teetering dangerously on the cusp of sorrow and happiness, not knowing what he felt more of. They stood just outside the security kiosk, where the older man could not enter without a boarding pass thanks to the heightened safety precautions in effect. Several other people were standing nearby, wishing good luck and a safe trip to their loved ones. A nearly palpable sadness charged the air all around them as Sean finally gave in and pulled the younger man into a warm bear hug that Elijah gladly snuggled into.

“Promise to call me as soon as you land.” Sean whispered in Elijah’s ear, placing a hidden kiss against the soft skin just below his ear as he hugged the younger man tightly about his thin shoulders. Making an attempt to lighten Elijah’s ever-darkening mood, Sean said to him with a small smile the younger man didn’t see but heard nonetheless, “You know I don’t care what time it is, here or there, just call.” Despite the steady throb of sorrow that was thumping in his chest, hearing Sean say that made him smile and laugh against the older man’s shoulder.

“I will, Sean.” Elijah promised, giving Sean one last squeeze with his arms before pulling away. Trying his best to hide his tears, Elijah laughed uneasily at his own display of unguarded emotions, briskly wiped away the droplets of saline as soon as they ran over, cutting their path short before they could spill down his cheeks. Arms length away, they stood quietly for a moment, looking at one another before Sean placed his hand on the flap of Elijah’s messenger bag and tugged open the zipper. Inside the front pocket sewn into the flap he pulled out a small stack of papers that had been stapled together and placed in the pocket without Elijah’s knowledge. Sean held them out to give the younger man. Cocking an eyebrow, wondering when Sean had slipped the papers inside his bag, Elijah accepted the gift

“Reading material,” he said simply with a small press of his lips together that could have been interpreted as a smile. Elijah wanted nothing more in that moment than to kiss Sean, but he couldn’t. So instead, suppressing the urge with every ounce of restraint he possessed, he thanked his writer and hugged him again; blushing brightly when he heard Sean’s murmured his confession of love one last time, for what would be almost a month, in the flesh. The younger man replied in turn before pulling out of Sean’s arms and leaving to join the growing line. Of course, Sean waited until Elijah had safely made it through the metal detectors without incident and was on the other side heading for his gate. Just as he was about to turn and leave, he saw Elijah glance back over his shoulder and blow a very discreet kiss in his direction.

+++++++++++++++

As soon as he had found the numbers and letter of his row and seat embossed in little black plastic symbols overhead corresponding to the ones printed on his ticket, he sat down. He bent and shoved the bulky messenger bag beneath the seat in front of him, still holding the stack of papers in his lap. Finally sitting up, Elijah pressed his back into the cushions of the seat and looked down at the words printed on the slightly torn and somewhat crumpled paper. He ran his hand gently over the top sheet, smoothing out a wrinkle. In the upper right hand was Sean’s scrawling print in soft pencil; a message to Elijah he had written recently.

My old editor’s favorite expression, “kill your darlings first,” would have to fit this passage perfectly…’ Elijah paused, glancing down at the body of the text. Just from the quick look he caught two names he recognized that were almost now synonymous, in his mind and, once the film was released, the entire world’s, with his own and Sean’s. William and Patrick, or just Will and Pat as Dom and Billy called them on-set. He almost sighed aloud from the comfort of familiarity; it had been a while since he’d re-read Sean’s book for the umpteenth time.

Looking back up he read the rest of the short message Sean had written; ‘This passage was originally cut from the book during the first editing phase, but it belongs just after the scene when Will leaves Patrick to get his retribution.’ Elijah paused; Will abandoning Patrick for his own personal gain, ‘how fitting.’

The Inevitable: Chapter Thirteen
CUT

Biting back the putrid taste of bile as it burned its way up Patrick’s throat, flooding his mouth and eating away at the enamel of his teeth, he realized Will had left him to enact his revenge upon Corbin. An overpowering furry bubbled up in the pit of his stomach, attempting to push everything out as he fought against the nausea. His every movement was agitated, rigid with the tell-tale signs of one who has been jilted. Sitting up on the leather couch, he pressed his hand against his brow and dragged it down to cover his lips as he looked around his office, slowing as they swept over the illuminated clock sitting on his desk. Two and a half hours since William had showed up with his bullet wound.

Bathed in pale moonlight, he furiously tugged on his dress pants and felt the weight of his cell phone bang against his thigh. Patrick’s eyes lit up as he slipped his hand inside the pocket and grasped the phone. Praying desperately for the first time in his life, Patrick hoped that Will had only just left and was still alive. He flipped open the cell and quickly dialed the young man’s number, pacing anxiously around the office before pausing to stand in front of the window, tapping the glass with his fingertips.

“What are you doing?” Patrick asked in a hushed yell as soon as he heard the ring being cut off by William answering. A ragged sigh whispered through the receiver before the young man replied, his voice, unlike Patrick’s, steady and confident. However, he could hear the weary undertones lacing his words as he spoke.

“You know perfectly wel-”

“Yes, but why?” He cut him off quickly, his voice still hushed but growing louder with intensity. On the other end he heard the rustle of fabric as Will shifted the phone from one ear to the other. As patiently as Patrick would ever be, he waited for him to speak again.

“I told you before I was going to leave.” Will chastised, pushing the blame on Patrick for not listening when he told the older man his intentions of finishing what he started. A long pause filled the space between them as another though filtered into Will’s mind. “You-you thought I’d change my mind after I…we…” He trailed off, knowing that Patrick didn’t need him say it. Will was unsure whether he even could say it to his mentor and friend…now turned lover.

“Yes…” A confession William would have never guessed he would ever hear from Patrick’s lips. Patrick had always respected the mores that had been drilled into William by his older brother during his employment at his brother’s syndicate. Not once did he try to erase those ideals, simply tried to build upon them and make them stronger. Thus, to hear him admit he thought that love could change one of Will’s core beliefs sent him reeling. Things did not work like that in this world; they were for checkout counter, buck-a-piece romance novels. However, William’s own motives for following through and reiterating his beliefs, those which he seemed to value above his own life, was the aftershock of love.

“I have to do this, Pat.” He finally said, shattering the long silence they had lapsed into. His voice was full of conviction and determination, it made Patrick nauseas again. It pained him more than he had ever realized it would, the fact his love had no affect whatsoever on Will and his almost certainly suicidal quest for revenge.

“Why?!” Patrick screamed, pulling his cheek away from the cool glass window and turning to pace his office once more. “Why!?” He repeated with the same craze contorting his voice, teeth gritting and scraping against one another as he sat down on the edge of his desk. Unable to wait for Will’s inevitable reply, Patrick barreled on, switching tactics. “You could turn around right now and come back to me…” Pleading. Only something that had affected Patrick so dramatically could reduce him to pleading with his Will.

“He took her away from me.” Counterpoint. Patrick felt like tearing his hair out one strand at a time. The boy was being so hotheaded over a girl who had never loved him or even lusted after him in the first place, where Patrick had ever since day one.

“Yeah, well now he’s taking you from
me.” He murmured into the speaker, he was never sure whether William heard him or not.

“It’s a matter of digni-” Will tried to explain himself but was cut off once more by Patrick.

“Oh, fuck your dignity, and your over-fucking-inflated ego.” He swore, his fist colliding with the surface of the desk with every cuss. The cold sweat that had cast a glimmering sheen on his face was wiped away by his shaking hand as he spoke again, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Everyone gets fucked over in this life when they begin to cater their actions to what they think is honorable or socially acceptable.” Cynical. “You’re acting like a fucking child.”

“Patrick,” he warned in a low voice.

“William,” Patrick mocked back, using the same tone Will had. Using the last trump card he had left in his stack, Patrick evoked his blunt wisdom and tried to warn Will of what could, and mostly likely would, happen if he sought out his old friend. “Believe me, William,” he began, his knuckles turning white from clutching the cell phone. “When I say that you will get killed because of this damned honor code you have with Corbin.” Though he wanted to believe it with every fiber of his being he knew Will would simply tune the words out and barrel on ahead paying them no heed.

“I have to go.” Certainty.

“Are you coming back?” Desperation.

“I don’t know, Patrick, okay, I don’t. Fucking. Know…”Anger flooded Will’s voice as he swore.

‘He’s never coming back…’

“I-I,” he began, his thinly stretched voice teetering on the brink of control and abandon. There was no way he would be able to stop William now and if he did he would be breaking the man. Will would never be Will if he turned back now, turning his back on his convictions. Patrick had been right, he was always right when it came down to it; morals and conviction have always been and would always be the downfall of every great man.

Taking a deep breath he knew this would be his last chance to say it, so he did, not very eloquently, but said it nevertheless, “Regardless of your fucking stupid actions at this moment in time, I do love you.” He pressed his lips together, muffling the cry that desperately wished to escape from his lungs and letting it out as a slow shaky, staggered breath. Glancing up at the dark ceiling he blinked back the tears that had begun to well up.

Patrick did not cry, especially for other boys who had wrongfully jilted him so even after his confession.

“I-I’m,” he stumbled over the words, never having uttered them before. “I’m sorry, Patrick…”


+++++++++++++++

Nine hours. Nine hours, a shit load of miles, oh yeah, and an ocean was all that separated them now. But the miles and the ocean didn’t really matter to him; it was the time difference that dictated whether or not Elijah would be able to phone Sean. However, those nine hours didn’t affect the young actor’s actions one little bit. He had his instructions from Sean to call him as soon as he landed in Prague, and who was he to disobey his writer, director, co-star, friend, and lover? As soon as he had departed from the plane, he pulled out his cell phone.

“Hey,” he whispered with a wistful smile pulling at his lips, leaning his weight against the plastic back of an airport chair, waiting patiently for his bags to come around the automated carrousel.

“Hey…” Sean’s voice was so weak; it couldn’t be Elijah’s Sean on the other end of the phone line. It sounded as if he had been crying when the younger man called. The entire time when they were together before Elijah’s flight he had been strong for the actor, but as soon as he locked his door and fell back on his own bed the emotions, suppressed for far too long, bubbled over, too much to contain any longer.

Sean had finally broken.

+++++++++++++++
AN: I want to thank anyone reading this for sticking with me despite my lack of updating...I'm very sorry...*sigh* However, I would like to also thank the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] empressaurelius for beta reading. *snuggles the wonderful Bri*

[identity profile] carolina30363.livejournal.com 2004-12-30 01:32 am (UTC)(link)
Oh this is more snd more intense!
Wow! LOve it a lot!

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2004-12-30 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
Oooooh! *hugs Caro tight* Thank you so much, I'm so glad you like it. :D

[identity profile] stellahobbit.livejournal.com 2004-12-30 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
It's finally back! *sigh* What a lovely long chapter :D

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2004-12-30 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
Heheh...*Back in Black...wait, wrong fandom, though it goes somewhat with your pretty icon, *wink** :D Tis a long chapter, and I'm very, very, very glad that you liked it. *snuggles*

[identity profile] i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com 2004-12-30 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
Yay! More on this lovely, gentle story. Mwah!

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2004-12-30 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
Eeeep! Thank you so much, *hugs and snuggles*! I'm so glad that you're still reading. Awww, lovely, gentle story, you're far too sweet. :D

[identity profile] zahz87.livejournal.com 2004-12-30 10:01 am (UTC)(link)
Ohhh you don't know how much im loving this fic!

*huggles you like crazy*

Your doing a fantastic job babes!

Keep up the god work.

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2005-01-01 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Awwww, *snuggles and huggles back like whoa*! I'm so glad it's still good...*sigh* I was so worried since it's been a little while...Thank you so much! *snuggles again*

[identity profile] royalneptune.livejournal.com 2004-12-30 12:13 pm (UTC)(link)
“I love you, my Sean.”

Eep. Eep. Too faklemped to respond properly. *sigh* But I do love this story of yours. <3

Keep it up, doll, you're doing so well. :D

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2005-01-01 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
:D

Hehehe, thank you Toni...*hugs tight* Faklemped! *sigh* I can't believe how long this story is taking...but I will keep it up as you ask. *wink*

[identity profile] shinysnuffles.livejournal.com 2004-12-30 02:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I love it!
I'm way to tired for my brain to function and comment properly. I was reading, alternatively feeling ow! and arr! If that makes any sense. Your story is like hot chocolate and marshmallows, cos it's comforting to me, even though it is so sad. (sorry the hormones are overtaking me again!)

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2005-01-01 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Eeeep! *snuggles*

Awwww, I hope you've gotten some sleep...hehe don't worry I totally understand what you mean, :D. Oooo, I love hot chocolate with marshmallows and I think that's actually a really good analogy! *ponders* I really like that...Thank you so very, very much.

[identity profile] wankers-fate.livejournal.com 2004-12-30 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
oh hally that was sad...i loved it! cant wait till tomarrow!

p.s. you left your coat at my place...

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2005-01-01 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Ooooh, *hugs*! Hehe, twas fun, :D...ehehe...'ve got me coat now...*grin*

[identity profile] hygher.livejournal.com 2004-12-30 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG! **dies** This chapter was so very awesome. I'm so glad you updated it. I've missed it!

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2005-01-01 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
O.o! Thank you sooooo much! *pounces for hug* Awwww, I've missed writing it...*sigh*

[identity profile] cologne-chick.livejournal.com 2004-12-31 07:52 am (UTC)(link)
Awww...beautiful as always! I really cried at the last sentences.

I really love your story and can't wait for a next chapter!!! *hugs*

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2005-01-01 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Oooh, you are far too sweet! Eeep, *hugs tight* please don't cry, it'll be okay...I promise...I'm very glad you like it still after so long. *snuggles* I hope the next chapter will be written in a shorter span this time...*sheepish grin*

[identity profile] nolyana.livejournal.com 2005-01-01 12:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Brilliant!
Sean is the man. Bless his heart. And Elijah’s as well. And bless you for writing it so well. Do carry on.

Happy New Year =D

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2005-01-01 11:54 pm (UTC)(link)
*blush* Ooooh! *hugs tight*

Ahaha, he is indeed! Awww, they both are...:D Ooooh, thank you so much...hehe I intend to, *wink*.

Happy (slightly late) New Year. >_~
ext_16267: (Default)

[identity profile] slipperieslope.livejournal.com 2005-01-01 07:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, thank you more of your beautiful story. I do enjoy where you take us, sweetie.

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2005-01-01 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Awww, you are so very wonderful...*snuggles* Well, I do hope you'll enjoy it still during the next few...slightly 'difficult' chapters...

[identity profile] melawen-c.livejournal.com 2005-01-03 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
However, the words, no matter how much Elijah wished them to, did not ring true in his mind. Sean was still legally bound to Christine and could never be to Elijah.
How sad that Lij has this feeling in the back of his mind all this time. :-(

This was a beautiful chapter. Oh, and the last line killed me! *sobs* I hate seeing the boys apart.

And just so you know, when this whole endeavor is done, I want a completed copy of The Inevitable.
Get writing girl! ;-)

*hugs*

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2005-01-08 11:35 am (UTC)(link)
Awww, *hugs tight right back*! It was very sad...*siff*...I felt kind of evil for doing so but with every downfall there is an equal opposite, *wink, wink*. I'm very glad that you liked the chapter, and thank you very, very much!

Ooooo, are you serious? Because The Inevitable is actually a book/novel/whatever I wrote like three years ago (parts in this story have been revamped to actually flow with the new style of writing) that I want to totally revamp (style not story) and maybe one day ('when I grow up') publish. :D

*hugs again*

[identity profile] snortstah.livejournal.com 2005-01-17 04:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I haven't been on in a while, but...
Well, I just re-read this whole fic from the beggining! I was reading it all day.

Best part? I got a ton of new chapters all at once! :)

Anyway, just...I don't really know what to say. Preordained has made me laugh, cry...haha wow, I seriously am at a loss for words. You are incredibly talented and ...whee! xD

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2005-01-17 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Hehe, awwww don't worry. O.o, the whole thing! That's so strange because I've been kind of re-reading the whole story...it's pretty strange to look at it as a whole. :D Hehe, new chapters all at once...I'm so glad you like the story still! *hugs tight* Oh, *blush* thank you so very, very much. You're so sweet!

[identity profile] snortstah.livejournal.com 2005-01-18 12:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course I still like the story! >.< It's one of the best plots I've ever seen, and you're a great writer. (:

[identity profile] snortstah.livejournal.com 2005-01-18 12:57 pm (UTC)(link)
o__O You live in Minneapolis (or around there)?

Wtf; so do I! xD

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2005-01-18 01:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Hehe thankies! O.O Omg! You do?! That's so sweet! Guess what, I live near a lake...surprise, surprise, *wink*.

[identity profile] snortstah.livejournal.com 2005-01-19 12:27 pm (UTC)(link)
A lake? Who would have guessed. xP

[identity profile] earth-dragon.livejournal.com 2005-02-15 03:30 pm (UTC)(link)
okay, so i just had to friend you. i was late in finding "preordained', but ohhhhh, when i did... i'm so addicted now! i sat down and read the whole thing in one day, and now the waiting for a new chapter is killing me (i should have paced myself!:P )

this is such an excellent series and i'm so glad to have found it, even if i am a bit late.

[identity profile] bluetears07.livejournal.com 2005-02-15 09:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Awwww, *hugs tight*! Thank you soooo much. I'm so glad that you like the story so far. :D You won't have to wait too long, I hope...*knocks on wood...ha, ha, ha...nevermind*...because I have a four day weekend this week and I've finally finished my term paper rough draft...:D

[identity profile] frodosweetstuff.livejournal.com 2005-05-20 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
Another great chapter! Love how you show them both battling with their emotions at the upcoming separation - Elijah somehow paralyzed and afraid of what is to come, torn in two and Sean doing his best to be strong for Elijah.

Loved this "his lover's growing collection of junk associated with music" - somehow that's a great description.

Again the importance of rings - or the lack of them - in this chapter, a visual reminder of an old bond that's about to be severed and the new bond that has been forged only a short while ago.

And arrggh, the chapter from Sean's book - so sad to see William become a victim of beliefs drilled into him by others.

The end make me cry. That was sooooooooo sad. *hugs Sean and Elijah*

This is such a brilliant series!! Love it so much!! *hugs tight*

P.S. Loved the messenger bag. <3 ;-)